The Christmas Snitch

Ok, just thought I'd come and post an entry so everyone knows I'm still around....  Not really sure why I've been gone so long.  Many times during the day something will happen and I think to myself, "You need to write that down in your journal".....but lately it hasn't gone any further than that thought in my brain.    Ah well, hopefully I'll become inspired to begin writing regularly again.  I miss it...

Spencer had his birthday on December 15th, he's now 18 years old!  That just blows me away; my first born is legally an adult.  Although watching my child grow to adulthood is sometimes bitter sweet, I'm also excited for him.  To see where this adventure, called life, leads him.  Ah yes, youth a time when everything seems possible.... I want him to grab for his dreams with both hands.  

Still lots of Christmas shopping here to do.  I really had hoped to be finished and wrapped by now, but unfortunately organization is not my strong point.  Never has been.... I'll be a procrastinator 'til the end. 

Today while I slept (worked the night shift last night), Mike decided to do some Christmas shopping for me.  He took the kids to the mall with him.  They had a good time, even got to see Santa Claus again.  They woke me up when they returned home around 2:30pm.  The shopping expedition went as planned until Mikey, 3, excitedly told me, "Mom, we got you a golf thingie, it's pink, so you can learn golf".  LOL... Mike pulled him aside and told him to not tell Mom anything else.  He explained that it was a secret.   The rest of the day Mikey managed to keep the other secrets of the day....   Until suppertime anyways.  During supper he blurted out, "Mom, we got you a popcorn maker thing today"....  Well, no need to shake the boxes in an attempt to guess what my presents are this Christmas.  Thanks Mikey.  : ) 

Hmmm.... I still need to shop for Mike.  

                   I think I'll leave the kids home....     

Why?

Sammi playing dress up in Sept. 05

 

Why, oh why, can a man manage to dress himself reasonably well, but can't manage to do the same for his children?  Seriously.....  In the picture above Sammi did a better job.  : )

This morning Santa came to the library & the kids were excited to go see him.  Because I worked the night shift, Mike was on his own with the two little ones.  Before heading off to bed this morning, I thought about taking something out for them to wear.  But after four years, I mistakenly thought maybe Mike could handle choosing a few outfits for his children.   Ok, so past experiences have proven otherwise, but hey, a girl can dream can't she?  All the laundry was caught up, lots of clothes choices, what could go wrong?   

The little ones woke me up at 2:30pm; nothing sweeter than a drooly kiss from a little one as they whisper, "Mom, I love you..."   Moments like that make all the chaos they create on a daily basis, worth it....

When I got out of bed they began to tell me about their morning.  They showed me the ornaments they made at the library, treasured hierlooms I'm sure.  Then I began to ask questions.  "Did you see Santa Claus?"  Mikey answered "Yup, but he was a little one..."  I wanted to question him more on that, when I suddenly realized what Sammi was wearing.  The only thing I could say next was,.  "Sammi, is that what you wore?"  :::Silently praying, "Say no, no"::::  Unfortunately Sammi said, "Yup..."   Knowing that she didn't care what she looked like, I didn't say anything else except,  "Oh".   But my mind was screaming...."Why???????"

Mike let Sammi go out in a pair of orange and white striped summer capri pants, perfectly mismatched with a pink and gray sweatshirt with white stripes on the sleeves and a monkey on  the front.   He made an attempt to pull her hair back, but well, let's just say he'd better not quit his day job.   Mikey fared better, but considering the temps are below freezing today, I might have skipped the short sleeved t-shirt.  

Mike isn't home right now,  so I can't ask him.  But because this was a well publicized event to see Santa, (where I'm sure the other kids were dressed in their holiday best), I'm betting there are pictures.  Lots of pictures.   Dare I say, the local newspaper photographer was most likely there? 

All I can say is.....

        Someday when Sammi sees those pictures, I'm NOT taking the blame....    

It's Almost Thanksgiving

Sammi & Mikey on Halloween night, 2005.

 

Ok, so I'm a bit behind, life just get's in the way sometimes....  Here are the little one's on Halloween night.  Those costumes were just so cute; my favorite part was watching them from behind.  The butt part of the costume is filled like a bean bag causing my *no butt* children to have these saggy little bums when running from house to house.  We only went around one block, but those yellow bags managed to become 3/4 of the way filled.  Cute goes a long way....

Let's see what else has been happening....

We discovered that we have been the victims of fraud.  Apparently someone, somehow managed to get the number of a credit card that Mike thought had been closed.  The account had a zero balance and he hadn't used it in over 2 years.  We only discovered there was a problem when we received notification from a credit collector.  Huh?  The person who has been using his card (since JUNE), was ordering wine, good wine, from wine.com.  After alot of frustration, the account has been cleared. 

Sammi's pnuemonia has finally cleared.  But one week later she (and Mikey) came down with a 24 hour stomach virus.  She got over that, but the virus's continue to attack her weakened immune system.   Two nights ago she told me she "was sick".  I thought it was just a ploy to be able to camp out on the couch again, so I sent her to bed.  She woke up yesterday morning with a temperature of 102.6 and a headache.  :::sigh::::  

Wondering if going to preschool is really such a good idea.   Besides getting bombarded with every germ that comes down the pike, she has had two pee accidents at school. (LOL, she is soooooo going to kill me someday when she reads this...)  The first one I attributed to the fact that she had been sick, but the last one?  Just not sure.... She still hasn't made any friends at school and mostly keeps herself occupied at the art table.  She readily gets involved in group activity, but during free time doesn't mingle with the kids.  That surprises me because I always thought she was so outgoing.   She has told the teacher that "no one will play with me."  The teacher thinks that I should make playdates for her outside of school with a classmate, to help build friendships.  I don't know....  I don't have time for "play dates" and truthfully, the main reason why I sent her to preschool was for the social aspect of it.  Putting all that aside, she REALLY seems to enjoy going and is always excited when it's a school day.  I have some soul searching to do.  I'm seriously considering pulling her out..... 

Next....

Spencer got in a small accident in the school parking lot.  At the end of the day, he was backing out his car from his parking space.  He got about half way, when two friends stopped him to jump in for a ride home.  After they jumped in, Spencer proceeded to begin to back up again.  As he did,  he suddenly realized there was someone behind him also backing up.  Apparently this girl didn't want to wait and decided to go around him..  Damage to her car, none to Spencer's.   Her Dad wanted to work it out and keep insurance out of the picture, so Mike talked to her Dad.  Apparently the Dad's way of "working it out:" was to have Spencer pay 100% of the damage.  Spencer does not believe he was 100% at fault, so he does not want to do that.  And besides, as he's told me..."Mom, I don't have the money to repair my 1995 Buick, I definitely can't afford to fix a 2004 Honda.  That's why I have insurance."  The insurance adjuster called today....  why do they always remind me of lawyers? LOL...

Well, although I still have lots to say, thinking this entry is long enough....

                  ....Stayed tuned, never a boring moment here....

No Pictures With This Entry

Ok, so I know I'm beginning to sound like the weather-woman lately in my journal.  But I can't help it....  In the past few years, I've really begun to notice how the weather affects my mood.  And my mood often dictates what I write in my journal... Sometimes I feel that maybe I should just do a video entry with yours truly talking about the weather,  Oh what a sight!  Picture me, excitedly flailing my arms in front of a giant map while wearing an ill-fitting suit.  November has been an incredibly mild month.  Lot's of sun and temperatures into the mid 60's to low 70's.  Gorgeous, perfect.  

Well, almost.

With Indian summer making an unexpected appearance here in New England; one would think that my family would have been able to shake the illnesses that have been plaguing us.   Not to be.  Although Sammi's pneumonia has cleared, Mikey now sounds like Daffy Duck.  I'm giving his immune system one week to fight this thing on his own.   And if that wasn't bad enough....

There has been a 24-hour stomach virus going around at work.  This virus must be very potent, because residents and staff are dropping like flies.  Without being graphic, I fell victim to this bug while at work on Wednesday night.  I tried to stick out the shift because the other nurse wasn't feeling well either, but I finally had to jump ship around 4am. As I was leaving the building, three residents began simutaneously vomiting.  The poor girls who weren't sick, they were dry-heaving as they tried to clean up the foul smelling mess....  

Friday night I returned to work and thankfully it was a pretty quiet night.  I know I don't talk alot about my work, but I do love my job, most days.  In the 15 years I've been in nursing I have experienced many things.  Sometimes some things can't be explained :::insert twilight zone music:::: and I've come to accept that.  In my acceptance in embracing those moments, my faith has grown stronger, more resolute. 

Friday night, one of those things happened.  Elise, 105 years old was actively dying.  This wasn't unexpected, as her health had been declining over the past few months.  I always had a sort of connection with her, because she was French Canadian, like me.  She sounded just like many of my relatives.  Elise didn't have anyone to sit with her, her daughter is in her 80's and not in good health.  So the girls and I took turns going to her through-out the night.  Although non-responsive we wanted her to know she wasn't alone. 

On one of my last visits to her room, I noticed a very large black fly buzzing around her head.   I was bothered by this fly, did it sense that she was dying?  And where did it come from?  There are not many flies around in November.   It's very exsistence felt like an omen, that her death was near....  I left her room feeling uneasy.   We visited Elise a few times after that, the fly had disappeared.  Around 2:30am, the girls went outside to have a smoke.  I'm the only non-smoking night person.  As I sat at the desk doing paperwork, a white moth suddenly began to swoop around my head.  I tried to swat it away but as I did,  I had this incredible feeling of knowing that Elise had just died. 

                            Almost like a voice told me....almost. 

Immediately shivers ran up my arms, the hair on the back of my neck stood up.  Convinced that my imagination was just in over-drive I decided to take the long walk down the corridor to Elise's room.  Yes, surely it was just my imagination.  As I rounded the corner to her room, there Elise lay...dead.   Rest in peace, dear lady.

Coincidence?  Maybe.... but my faith once more grows stronger. 

 

Quote of the day: " I fear one day I'll meet God, he'll sneeze and I won't know what to say...."   ~~Ronnie Shakes

Knock, Knock.....

"Knock, knock"

"Who's there?"

I'll tell you who's here.....Winter!  Yup, knew Ole Man Winter would be knocking on my door soon, just didn't believe it would be this soon.  It's snowing, really snowing.  The weatherman had said that it wouldn't accumulate; but he's wrong.  It's accumulating.  Ok, so happily we won't accumulate the amount of snow in the picture above from last year, but it's snowing!   It's only October, this is just so wrong on so many levels, lol. 

:::sigh::::  I guess it's time to put away my flip flops and take out the shovels....

 

Where Art Thou, October?

October 2005

I just love that picture up there....  Mikey is wearing his underwear backwards, not to mention that they are at least 3 sizes too big.  But as you can tell, Mikey doesn't care and Sammi seems oblivious to his fashion faux paux.  Apparently the underwear were on sale, and Grammy couldn't pass up a good bargain. 

Since starting preschool in September, Sammi has caught every germ going down the pike.  I knew it was to be expected being her first time exposed to so many kids at once.  Hoping her immune system gets tough soon, because I'm truly wondering if the financial burden and constant sickness is worth the benefits.  Last Thurs. it appeared that she was coming down with another cold/fever.   By the weekend she developed a deep cough, a "from the toes" cough.  Yesterday I brought her to the Dr's., I suspected worse.  I was right....

Sammi has pneumonia.   They didn't hospitalize her because despite all, she's still pretty peppy.  Started her on antibiotics and watching.  She looks/sounds awful this morning, her color is off....  But she's eating and drinking a little, so that's good.  I'll call tomorrow if she appears worse.  My poor little girl, she's such a trooper;  not complaining at all. 

Speaking of complaining.... I'm putting one in to Mother Nature.  What happened to one of my favorite months?  October went by with hardly a day to truly enjoy the season.  Rain, rain, rain.  Today we are having a nor'easter. Good bye to all the beautiful foliage..  Feeling the affects of what's left over from Wilma, plus a few other weather systems.  We are experiencing wind gusts 60+mph and it's raining, again.  

Parts of NH are already getting snow, I just know it won't be long before Ole Man Winter is knocking on our front door.  I'm sooooooo not ready for winter, please stay away a little longer.  It's bad enough that the stores are  already reminding me of your impending arrival by putting out their Christmas merchandise.  I even heard the Mormon Tabernacle choir singing "Do You Hear What I Hear?" on TV the other night.  No, no, I won't listen to that now. 

:::Quickly turning the channel::: to  "It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown."    Aaaaaah yes, all is alright in my world....  

                                                       Well, almost....  

There You Are!

 

::::Donning my red wig & little red dress and singing:::::

"The sun'll come out
Tomorrow
Bet your bottom dollar
That tomorrow
There'll be sun!

Just thinkin' about
Tomorrow
Clears away the cobwebs,
And the sorrow
'Til there's none"

Oh yeah!  Told you I felt a song comin' on.  Welcome back sunshine, you were sorely missed around these parts.  Ten days was too long.

Lots has gone wrong this weekend (our old dog bit Mikey on the hand when he touched her food and I lost my car keys, resulting in not being able to attend two much anticpated parties).  For Sammi, the worst was not being able to go to a wedding party at her dance school.  Her instructor was married a few weeks ago and she had a party so all the little girls could see her wedding gown & try on the veil.  Sammi got completely dressed up in her dance outfit (complete with fairy wings and a pink fuzzy tiara), and I couldn't find my keys.  To say she had a fit, would be putting it mild.  She actually grabbed her coat and said, "I'm outta here...."  Of course when I opened the door to let her go, she broke down in tears.  Her tears rivaled the raindrops that still fell outside.  Sorry just didn't cut it this time.  Today we are most likely going to miss my nephew's birthday party  I'll give the house another search, but I've lost hope in finding them.  Oh, and if you're wondering where my spare key is?  It's on Mikes keychain and he's been in Albany NY all weekend.   Oh well, what can I do?  

I know.... We'll go outside and enjoy the sunshine.  It's very windy here today, gusts up to 50mph.  But hey, I won't have to push the kids so much on the swings, lol.  Yes, even with the bad luck I've experienced this weekend.... I'm cheered by the sun.

:::still singing that song::::

"Tomorrow, tomorrow,
I love ya tomorrow...
You're always a day away...."

Extra, Extra, Read All About It

 

Nine days of non-stop rain & wind here, the sun hasn't peeked through once.  Guess we are paying for the warmest September we've had in decades.  The kids are truly driving me crazy, too much time indoors with no where to run and burn off all their crazy energy.  Think today we'll  have to go outside & splash in some puddles.   I hear rumors that the sun will come out tomorrow....                                         

                                   Hmmm, I feel a song comin' on....

Last night Spencer brought home his first girlfriend.  I should have known something was up when he decided to clean his pig-stye (I mean, room yesterday, lol.)  Another clue should have been when he made the comment, "the livingroom is starting to get messy...."  I didn't think it looked so bad and he usually doesn't care.  He just steps over all the toys & kids in his way.   

 But last night the reasons for all his cleaning became apparent at supper time.  "Mom, can Stephanie come over tonight?"   Couldn't believe he was actually bringing a girlfriend home.  Was beginning to think he never would.... Figured someday he'd just show up with a wife in tow.    

And so because I wanted to make my son proud; I decided to clean the livingroom, even cleaned the toilet for good measure.  When he went to pick her up at work, I popped some popcorn and made some brownies.   Just call me June Cleaver, lol, minus the high heels and apron.    

After they arrived, the little ones and I sat in the livingroom to visit for awhile.  Sammi & Mikey immediately saddled up to her and started jabbering away.  Mikey was even the perfect host, offering her a handful of popcorn from his drooly  hand.   She politely declined.  Smart girl....  

About a half hour later, I put the kids to bed & went to watch TV in my room.  I made the occasional loud trip out into the kitchen, but hopefully nothing too obvious.  Spence brought her home around 11pm, she had to go to a pre-SAT class Saturday morning.  College bound, yes, smart girl indeed.  Anyways, I thought she was very nice, a pretty cheerleader type.     

As I sat watching TV in my room, I suddenly realized something last night.  Someday (far in the future, I hope) a daughter-in-law will join our family.   I think I'm looking forward to that.   

 Hope being a good mother-in-law is genetic, if it is, I have no problems.         

Two Years Ago Today

Today is my journal's birthday....  

I started this journal 2 years ago.  I remember the trepadition I felt inside when writing my first entry.  I was unsure about how I felt, knowing other's could read about my private thoughts, poems & life that I chose to share here.   I worried that I had nothing to say, or worse, would maybe say too much.   All those feelings are gone now.  I'm happy about the way my journal has evolved....     

I make copies of all my journal entries and put them in a box.  My hopes are that someday my children, grandchildren and even great grandchildren will enjoy reading these entries.   I know that even in the chaotic moments that is sometimes my life, that these days are truly the best of times.  Times that I always want to remember, that I want them to remember....

Happy 2nd birthday dear journal, may your words endure forever... 

 

Quote of the day: "There may be no more pleasing picture in the world than that of a child peering into a book--the past and the future entrancing each other..." ~~Roger Rosenblau  

 

Peanuts Anyone?

Ever since Spencer was a small child (now almost 18 years old), I've asked him at the fair if he wanted to go for a ride on the elephant with me.  His answer has always been a resounding, "No way".   Admittedly, I was secretly relieved. 

For the past three years, I've been asking Sammi & Mikey the same thing.  Their answers have always been the same as Spencer's.  "No way!" ....That is, until this past Sunday.   On Sunday night we decided to go to the fair.  It was a beautiful, almost summer-like night.  After going on some rides, watching baby chicks hatch from their eggs and checking out this years biggest pumpkin (weighing in at over 1,300 lbs) we made our way to the petting zoo.   Upon seeing the elephant trod around her well worn path, I asked my annual question.  "Does anyone want to go on an elephant ride with me?"  Instantly, two little voices chirped, "YES! Me, me..." and they started dancing around.  I couldn't believe they said "Yes".   So, before I wimped out I went to the window and bought three tickets to ride the elephant.

The kids loved riding on the elephant.  Mikey laughed & squealed the entire time.  The first thing I noticed was how incredibly huge the elephant's head was.  A totally different view when sitting on top.  As the man guided Bulah (the elephant's name) around the ring he constantly spoke to her.   As we were riding, I suddenly had a memory of a documentary I watched a while ago.  "When Elephants Go Mad."   I held the kids a little tighter and silently said a prayer, "Please God, don't let Bulah go mad at this moment...."   

We safely reached our platform to get off and I thanked Bulah for giving us a ride.  Ever look close up in an elephant's eye?  Incredibly intelligent, I think she might have understood.  I'm glad that we rode the elephant, it was an experience they will always remember.  But I do know one thing....

Next year I won't ask them if they want to go for a ride on the elephant.  Thinking we'll stick to the ponies....  

 

 

Mikey's footprint in the sand....

 

Wow, it's the end of September!  Can't believe I only wrote in my journal once this month.... life just gets so crazy.

My Dad had his 69th birthday on the 10th, all my siblings (but Danny in FL) and I descended upon him with BBQ fixing's & cake in hand.  I think Dad had a great day.  Good food, laughs, lots of family and bocce ball.  

Sammi is really loving preschool and Mikey is beginning to adjust.  Last Tuesday when it was time to pick her up, Mikey said, "Can we leave her there a little longer?"  Today I enrolled Sammi for pre-ballet (her first class is Wednesday morning) and I signed Mikey up for Tuesday morning story time/puppet shows at the library.  And so it begins....  I'm sure music lessons and baseball practices are just around the corner.  

Spencer is looking at a few different colleges and preparing for his SATS.  October 29th we are going to tour Salem State.  Spencer wants to go for his Criminal Justice degree.  After that he is hoping to be accepted into a police academy.   I'm nervous because his father and step mother will be there too.   We haven't spoken of college costs yet, so I'm hoping we can come to terms without having to go to court.  Fingers crossed that all goes smoothly....

This weekend Spencer and I are going white water rafting in Kennebec Maine.  We are going with a group of my co-workers.  All, but one, are bringing their sons too.  I'm looking forward to spending some quality Mom-Son time.  At almost 18 years old, his life is so busy now and it often doesn't include me.... Mike will be staying home and taking care of the little ones.

Poor Mike.  Nahhhhhh, don't feel sorry for him.  He leaves the following weekend for New York.  There is a wood working symposium he is attending with other woodturner's from his club.  He's looking forward to that time alone, I think.  : )

Still spending lots of time at the beach, but this past week it feels as if autumn has finally descended upon us.  Ah well, no frost on the pumpkins yet.  

                                                      So I can live in denial until then....

End Of Summer Thoughts

Picture taken September 2005

 

And so the end of summer has almost arrived.....  Everytime I go to the beach now, I take a moment to silently say "good bye".   I know that soon it will be too cold to come down and watch the sun sink quietly into the horizon, or feel the warm sand beneath my bare feet.   I have always loved the ocean, the waves crashing on the shore, the salty air.  I feel alive there, rejuvenated.  Yes, the ocean.  Unpredictable and as beautiful as she is cruel....    

This morning was Sammi's first day of preschool.  She's ready, I'm not.  It doesn't feel right in the house, too quiet.   This is the first time the *dynamic duo* has been seperated.  Mikey is lost without her.  He has always had her by his side, his partner in crime.   He has called out, "Sam?" twice already.  And when she didn't answer he walked sadly up to me saying, "I want Sammi home now..."  I should do something special with him today, but I'm having a hard time leaving the house.  What happens if the phone rings and Sammi needs me?  (I forgot to pack her a change of clothes in case of an accident, and I only packed 2 drinks, should have packed 3.)  Organization has never been my strong point.  Thankfully she'll only be going for 2 days a week, that's all my heart can handle for now.   Strange having one child ending his grade school experience as a senior in high school and another just beginning her journey at preschool. 

Well, off to try and get motivated.   Today the temps are supposed to be in the low 80's, so maybe we'll head to the beach.  Feeling rejuvenated doesn't sound half bad right now.  I can even say "good bye" one more time.... 

Yes, the end of summer has almost arrived.... 

 

Quote Of The Day: 

Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are... Let me not
pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. One day I
shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in my pillow, or
stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than
all the world, your return.     -- Mary Jean Iron

A Question From Mikey

Picture of Mikey, 3, holding his kitten Gilbert....

 

I woke up this morning with Mikey's little face next to mine whispering, "Am I three today?"  He had the hugest smile when I told him he was.   Can't believe my baby boy has turned three....  Don't think I'll ever stop being amazed at how fast time flies once you have children.   To celebrate this milestone, I just jotted down this little poem....  Enjoy.

~"Yes, You Are Three"~

Today is Mikey's birthday,
how can that possibly be?
Wearing diapers at two,
now standing up to pee.

Running without falling,
riding his trike with ease,
Can even start the van,
I have to hide the keys.

Takes everything apart,
all scattered on the floor.
Can't put them back together,
Maybe when you're four?

You talk a mile a minute,
The questions never ending.
I love to watch you play,
Make truck sounds while pretending.

Can soar high upon your swing,
No push from Mom required.
Refusing to take naps,
Don't you ever get tired?

Thankful you still welcome,
My many kisses and hugs.
Even when you're busy,
holding sticks or trapping bugs.

Time is going by too fast,
Slow down a little please.
Today's is Mikey's birthday,
How can that possibly be?

 

Happy birthday Mikey....

                              ....I love  you.

                                                Mom 

Going Batty (Part 2)

After I wrote about my bat encounter, a handful of people (some from here & at work) told me that I could have been bitten while asleep.  At first I thought they were overly cautious, maybe slightly hysterical?    That was until.....

Two days later; I discovered two very small round scabs on my forehead.  Because of my psoriasis, my skin gets dry and I sometimes pick.  Normally I would have thought nothing of those scabs (that happened to resemble puncture marks from the movie "Dracula"), but now I stood there staring at them in the mirror, wondering.... "What if?"   After showing my Mom and sister for their opinions, (and basically having them lovingly laugh at me), my Mom suggested I go to the Dr. to have the mark checked out.   

Feeling kind of foolish,  I went to the Dr's and told her my story.  After she examined my "bite mark"  she had good news and bad news.  

The good news:  She didn't think it was a bite.

The bad news:  She strongly suggested that the kids and I get vaccinated for rabies.

The reasoning?  Because we were all sleeping and woke up with the bat in flight above our heads, we can't be sure of exposure/contact.  I didn't know this (and should have), but no bite is needed to contract rabies.  While flying over our heads the bat's saliva could have dripped down on a scratch or mucous membranes (our eyes, opened mouths while sleeping etc).   If the bat was rabid, we could potentially become infected.  There is also the possibility that being disoriented from being in the house, the bat could have landed on us without us knowing.  If it scratched us, we could become infected with the virus.   

Still unsure if a vaccination was necessary, the Dr. gave me information and stats on people who contracted rabies.  There was a percentage of those people who only remembered waking up in a room with a bat, no physical contact, not bitten.  Although the Dr. admitted that our  chances for infection were slim from the encounter; in her opinion "slim" was not good enough when talking about a virus that kills almost 100% of the time.

Sooooooooooo.... Monday night my two babies started the rabies vaccination series at the pedi out-patient unit at the hospital.  They got 4 shots each, one on each arm and leg.  Sammi is my freakin' hero.  She didn't cry and the injections were big intramuscular ones.  She only flinched a little on the last one.  Mikey cried and it broke my heart....

Because my Dr's office did not have the vaccine on hand, I went to the ER the next morning for my first dose.  I receieved 8 shots.  It was awful....truly.  Worse than my epidurals.  If I wasn't afraid of looking silly, I might have cried.  Can't believe that Sammi didn't....

Yesterday the kids went for round two.  This time only one shot.  Sammi remains brave and Mikey asked, "Can I sit on your wap, so I won't be ascared of it...?"  Three more weeks, three more shots to go for all of us....

Well, that's the update.  We're all sore but will be alright.  Oh, and a word of advice.  If you ever catch a bat in your house, don't throw it out in the left-over chinese food container for trash pick up the next day.  Make sure that it shouldn't be checked out first.  I would so kick myself in the butt for not doing that,

                                 .....but I'm too sore, lol.....   

         

Too Many Too-matoes

A picture of a few of my just-picked tomatoes....

 

Here's a picture of some of my garden's success.   Althuogh I've had some luck with my broccoli, cabbage, and green peppers, the most fruitful by far, are my tomatoes.   On Saturday we picked 70 tomatoes and there's still many more to go.  We've easily picked over 100 so far....  Mike has made some wonderful sauce for spaghetti, far better than any jar sauce I've ever tasted.  I tried to make some, and though it was tasty, it was not nearly as good as Mike's.   So guess who'll be making more sauce?  We'll freeze it for future enjoyment.  : ) 

I just love fresh tomatoes.... (guess it's a good thing I do, lol)  I don't get sick of them because soon the garden season here in New England will be over.  When our tomatoes are gone, we'll be forced to eat those hard orange-tinged things called "tomatoes" from California again....  It's just not the same.

Side note:  While I was typing this entry, things around my house got too quiet.  Guess what the two little ones were doing? 

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They were both standing naked in the back room trying to figure out how they could use the litter box.   Oh my!!!!!!  These two, honestly.....too much.  Hey at least the litter box was clean, .and it still is, I caught them before they actually tried......

Well, off to the pool to swim.  Summer has returned for the moment....   

Going Batty!

Picture of the bat in my livingroom.... Please pay no attention to the dust, lol.... Those slots on the box fan are only 1.5"inch L X 1/2" inch W; guess I missed dusting those small squares.  (And how does dust collect there with the fan blasting almost all the time? LOL)  Well, no problem with the dust now, the fan is still sitting out on the deck.  Ok, now on to the story.....    

 

Thursday night around 8pm as I was talking to Mike on the phone, (his phone call woke me up; the kids and I were in the livingroom in the dark watching Scooby Doo on TV),  my eyes caught something glint in my peripheral vision.   Thinking it was probably nothing, I continued  talking to Mike while lying on the couch.  And then suddenly....


SWOOP....

A bat flew inches from my head and then started flying in circles in the livingroom.   It had the approximate wing span of a red robin.  I watched it do a few circles overhead, then totally freaked.  Mike was on the other end of the phone when I saw it.  He laughed and said,  "Are you sure it's not just a big moth?"  Honestly, I couldn't get out of there fast enough.  Being incredibly brave :::cough, cough::::  I was already standing in the middle of the kitchen when I called for the kids to get out of the livingroom,  NOW.  I whisked them, the kitten and our dog off to my bedroom & shut the door.  We stayed in there until Mike returned home about a half hour later.   

Mike couldn't find the bat at first, but I KNEW what I saw & wasn't coming out til he did, lol.  He finally found the bat, it had squeezed itself into our fan in the window.  The slots on the box fan are only 1.5"L  X 1/2"W....  How the heck it got in there is amazing.  Unfortunately for the bat,  the fan was still running when he flew in there.  Initially the bat was fine, just clung to the inside of the fan grill.  Hey, maybe he got stuck in all that dust....   Mike planned on covering the fan with a towel  to trap the bat, but he needed to move it first.  Not  wanting to turn off the fan, thinking the bat might take flight again, he moved the fan just a little....   
     

THUMP......

The blades whacked that bat on the head ending his lil' life.   :::shudder::::  No towel needed.  Mike went out later to remove the bat from the fan.  He had to unscrew the front of the fan to get him out.  And then for some insane reason, he thought I'd like to see it.  Ummmmm, not!  Men!   

Today I'm sitting here still slightly freaked out.   I'm trying to figure out where that bat, aka rodent with wings, came from.                                       

                         Sure hoping he doesn't have friends....

Chuck The Good Luck Duck

Eighteen years ago as I lay three months pregnant and scared in a hospital bed; my sister-in-law Holly, (who is a nurse), reached in her uniform pocket and gave me Chuck The Good Luck Duck.  She said,  "Everything is going to be ok.  Here's Chuck The Good Luck Duck."  I laughed as I squeaked that yellow duck, but you know what? Somehow I felt a little better.  Someone had given Chuck to her a few years earlier when she was having a health scare..   

Chuck has come out of my dresser drawer a handful of times since.  He's traveled to be with different family members when they've had health worries.  Chuck has never been washed nor has his torn wing been mended.  Every stain and tear tell a story.

Chuck is out of the drawer once more, ready if needed ....But I'm hoping I can put him away.

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow Mike.  Keep the faith and stay positive.  They'll figure out what's wrong and as Holly told me many years ago when I received Chuck, I just know "everything is going to be ok."  

 

Beauty Amongst Chaos....

Picture of my sunflower.... Taken by Mike : )

The prettiest thing in my garden is this sunflower.  Yes, had visions of great things for my garden but little by little it's slipping away.

My squash and cucumbers were attacked by aphids, the deer are eating my corn.  Whole stalks are being eaten and trampled.  The stalks that are left are dwarfed, probably by the high temps and very little rain.  Mike thinks I should water them, that they'll spring back.  But I think it's useless....  Gotta face it, those stalks are so withered that I've grown popcorn on the cob.   The little ears that are there will never grow bigger than those minature ears of corn found in chinese food.   And then there are my tomatoes....

My plants are gorgeous, the branches are heavy and drooping from the bountiful amounts of tomatoes that cling to them.  But unfortunately, something is happening to my tomatoes before they ripen.  They are rotting (or being eaten) from underneath while on the vine.  I've been picking some green ones and letting them ripen on the windowsill, seems whatever it is doesn't like green tomatoes. 

So, my gardening experience hasn't been all I dreamed of.  But I'm not discouraged.  I have had some success.  And then, of course,  there is the sunflower.  It's truly beautiful.... 

        Just hoping the squirrel won't eat the sunflower seeds before I can....

 

Quote of the day:  "Even on cloudy days, the sunflower follows the sun."  Unknown

 

Our Awesome Adventure....

Mike, Spencer & I white water rafting in the Berkshires in July.....

                       We all had blast!

The Kennebec river in Maine is our next conquest in September.  Anybody want to come?  : )     

Taking The Plunge

I have some things on my mind that I need to write about, but those thoughts are for another day.

See those pull-ups in the picture above?  Come on, look away from that cute lil' face for a minute and focus on the pull-ups....

Mikey, aged 2 years 11 months is officially potty trained!   Yes!!  :::doing the happy dance:::  He was by far my easiest... This past weekend he decided to be potty trained.  Simple as that, no bribes needed.   As Tony the Tiger says it's pretty darned "Greeeeeeeeeeeeee-at!"  Good bye diaper bag, hello purses. 

Now back to the face....  Mikey thinks that he knows how to dive and has become quite a little daredevil in the water.  Before he prepares to take the plunge into the deep blue of the pool,  he closes his eyes and makes that face everytime.   He has informed Sammi that only boys know how to dive, but he'd be happy to teach her. This child just makes my heart smile....

Well, it's 95 degrees today with over 70% humidity.  Way too hot to be sitting in my non-air conditioned house in front of this computer.    

                  Off to the pool for my diving lessons with Mikey....

      

    

Sammi Turns 4....

Martina McBride : Martina : 'In My Daughter's Eyes'  <!~click to listen

In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the
world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me
strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes

And when she wraps her hand
around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about

It's hangin' on when your heart
has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy
she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes

Happy birthday Sammi-girl....

                                      ....I love you

Still Here.....

Wow, can't believe it's been almost a month since I've written in my journal.  A record, one that I hope I don't beat anytime soon.  Life has been good, just busy living it....

Summertime is short in New England.  These days it seems as if there are never enough hours in a day to accomplish everything I want to.   We finally fixed our boat trailer (the axle broke last Sept.) and we received & installed our new pool liner.  Feels great to be able to jump in the pool after mowing the lawn.  My favorite time to swim, by far....  The little ones love the water although they can't swim yet, (that's my goal for next year).   Speaking of little ones, Sammi isn't so little anymore.  Well ok, she's still little weighing in at a petite 35 lbs and is 39" tall, but she's turning 4 tomorrow!  I can't believe it.  She was only 2 when I started this journal, Mikey was an infant.  Honestly, where does time go?   Tomorrow we'll quietly celebrate her day with just us, but we plan on having a combination pool party/BBQ for her and Mikey the second week of August for our extended families.  (Mikey turns 3 on Aug. 31st),

We've been doing lots of fun things.  The little ones and I went to visit my folks up in North Conway a few weeks ago.   Aside from a nail polish incident that could have been MUCH worse (and a melt down in a park shortly after), we had a wonderful time.  We all went to Storyland and Sammi & Mikey really enjoyed riding first class on the North Conway railway.   

Since the last time I wrote, another highlight was camping July 4th weekend, with  my brother's and sisters (and their families) up north.  I so wish I had a camera when the little ones woke up the first morning in the tent.  We set-up at midnight, while they slept, so it was a whole new world when they opened their eyes.  It was their first time camping, their expressions were like Dorothy's the first time she saw Oz.  Truly precious.  Had a great time reconnecting with the siblings around the campfire at night....  Besides creating many new memories, the "remember when's" never stopped. 

I'm having a hard time keeping up with  my garden.  Everything is growing so well, the tomato plants and corn are almost up to my hips, the cabbage plants are huge, something that every bunny dreams of.  We've been eating a never ending supply of broccoli, green peppers and peas.  And speaking of never ending?  The weeds.....it's crazy!

We've been going on the boat whenever we can, but this past week was a bit too rainy.   The last time out on the boat we just barely beat a thunderstorm in.... That would not have been fun.  Happily, hotter temperatures have returned again, so I'm sure we'll be out alot more this week.  Last Friday Mike, Spencer and I went white water rafting up in the Berkshires. (Thanks Dad and Mom for watching the little ones).  Even though it poured and we had a record cold day of only 59 degrees in July, we had a blast.  Pictures to come soon.  : )

Well, life is calling me.  Actually it's Mike.  He wants me to help with supper, guess I should pitch in seeing it's almost 8pm.   Off to throw a few steaks on the grill and toss a salad...

                             .....Lovin' summer

Quote of the day:  "In summer, the song sings itself."    ~~William Williams...                                   

Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder....

Today.....

My face is broken out by a flare up of psoriasis.  I feel self-conscious on days like these.  I KNOW people look at me and wonder things like, "Is it catchy?" 

My hair has a white skunk stripe where I have slacked off on covering my roots. And to add to the appeal, my hair is a mass of frizz thanks to the humid 90-degree weather we've been experiencing.  Think Cruella DeVille....

Lastly, all this humidity has me feeling bloated, so I decided to wear a baggy tie dyed t-shirt with a pair of shorts that didn't quite match....

I didn't care....

The kids and I were only going to Walmarts to buy a new kiddie pool.  We're still waiting for the replacement liner for our pool.  It's been on order for three weeks now. Arghhh!   Nope, didn't care how I looked.   I was just looking forward to escaping the heat while riding in our air conditioned van.    I can't believe that I was whining about the rain and cold less than two weeks ago....  

And so, not feeling particularly good about my appearance, but accepting that it is just *one of those days* I said, "Let's go...."  As  we began to walk out of the door, Sammi innocently looked up at me and said, "You look beautiful today Mommy."

Suddenly I felt better,  I guess I did care.  Ahhh yes,  beauty is indeed in the eyes of the beholder....

                          ...Thanks Sammi girl, you made my day....    

Quote of the day:   

"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched.  They must be felt within the heart."  ~~Helen Keller

            

My Garden

The rain finally stopped and a beautiful rainbow appeared.... 

For a moment,  seeing the rainbow almost felt biblical, a personal promise from the Man himself that the rain would stop.  And it has....  I  cancelled that order for the do-it-yourself build an ark kit.   We literally went from temps of 48 and rain, to sunny in the upper 80's & today we  hit 90!  Too hot, too quick, but I'm not going to complain.  It was a lousy Spring, even my flowers drowned.   I'm just happy to see it go....

My garden survived the nor'easter.... barely.  Now I hope it can survive the deer.  I wondered why people surrounded their gardens with mesh, thought they were just being unfriendly.  But after having one of my plants mysteriously disappear and discovering some hoof prints, I know why.  The 20' X 40' plot I rented in the community garden is one of the worst.  But I did get a great deal.  Instead of $15.00 for the season, I was charged only $5.00.  The soil in my corner has alot of clay and after it rains, the soil forms a cement-like crust around the plants.   I've been going down to scratch away the crust so that the roots can absorb the water.   I don't know if anything will grow, but I'm having fun (and getting alot of exercise) trying.  Speaking of exercise, I'm still going to Weight Watchers and have lost 17.5 pounds so far.:::ok, done bragging now:::   

The water spigot that everyone uses is at the fire hydrant, it's about 75 feet away from me.   I have two large watering cans that I use to carry the water and I usually have to make four trips to get enough.   I've been adding Miracle Grow to the water, thought it was appropriate for a garden plot on church property.   ....Think it would be sacrilegious to mix it with holy water? Ok, so maybe it would be, but hey, as you can see my garden needs all the help it can get.  Ahhh well....  

I'm pretty sure my garden won't be the best looking one, but I don't think anyone else will have as big a variety. I planted bell peppers, 3 different varieties of tomatoes, cabbage, broccoli, snap peas, carrots, wild flowers, eggplant, zucchini, baby cucumbers and corn.     Hope the next picture I take of my garden isn't quite so pathetic....                  

            .....Well, off to bed with visions of cucumbers dancing in my head.  

Rainy Day Stories

"Count the garden by the flowers, never by the leaves that fall.  Count your life with smiles and not the tears that roll."  ~Author Unknown

I heard a rumor the other day....

I heard someone say that it's almost June, but I don't believe  it.   Yes, it's still raining and we are now beginning to break records for not only the wettest May, but also the coldest.  Anyone tired of me whining yet?  I'm tired of hearing me whine, lol.    Yesterday was 47 degrees, today was 48.  We've had rain for the past week, and there is no end in sight.  As I type, we are being pounded by a nor'easter.  The wind is howling outside, and at this hour it sounds eerie, ghost-like.  Wind gusts are up to 50mph....  If I were a very religious person, I would be taking my cues from Noah and begin building that ark .....now.   

On Monday, during a very brief lull in the rain, I decided it was time to plant my garden.  I rented a 20' X 40' garden plot from a neighborhood church for $15.00.  Although I have a large yard in which I could have planted a garden, I thought that it would be more fun being part of a community garden.   Besides, I don't exactly have a green thumb, so my crops can use all the divine intervention they can get....  When I got to the field, there were no other plots planted.  But I was determined to get my plants into the ground before June.  I had only been working for about 15 minutes when the rain began again.  I put on my windbreaker and continued to work for 2 hours in 50 degree temps and rain.  I planted 4 bell pepper plants, 19 tomato plants, 6 cabbage plants, 11 broccoli plants, a package of carrot seeds, a package of snow peas, and then I planted wild flowers along the perimeter. 

By the time I finished I was soaked and covered in a thick layer of mud.  But it was worth it, I accomplished what I set out to do, and as I left the garden I felt quite proud of myself.  That is, until I climbed into the  van and realized that the van was stuck in the mud.  Really stuck.  What a sight I must have been walking home in the pouring rain, covered in mud.   When Mike got home he had to use the truck to tow me out of the mud hole that the van had sunk in.  I'm hoping that my tiny plants can hold up to this storm.  I guess we'll see....       

Last weekend Mike, Spencer and I went white water rafting.  In the rain of course, but hey, at least it was a balmy 52 degrees.  We went with a bunch of my co-workers and their families, 22 of us in all.  No, we weren't alone in our insanity.   Spencer fell out of his raft in a class four rapid.  He didn't spend too much time in the water, and was pulled back in very quickly.  We all had such a blast that we are planning another trip in July.  Hoping for warmth and sunshine. 

The last bit of sunshine in our lives this week is in the picture above.   Since we have had no luck with bunnies, we have been thinking of getting a kitten for Sammi.  We were planning on this summer, but this little tiger kitten came into our lives sooner than expected....  A co-worker has a mother cat who gave birth to five kittens... then she found 3 abandoned kittens from another litter outside.  After rescuing those three and thinking that the Mother cat would never notice, she slipped them in with the other five.  Well, Mom didn't appreciate that.  Not only did she reject the three extra kittens, but she rejected her five other kittens too.  So my co-worker had been hand raising all eight kittens since they were 3 weeks old.  When this little kitten was given to us, it was 6 weeks old.   

Sammi took one look at this little kitten and decided that his name should be Gilbert.  Because no one could tell exactly what sex he was, I agreed that Gilbert was a wonderful name.  On Tuesday, we took the kitten to the vets.  Everything was perfect except that Gilbert is definitely a girl.  I suppose in time we'll shorten her name to Gilly.  This little 1 lb creature is a bundle of energy, making us all laugh with her funny antics.  It's been years  since I've had a kitten around, I had forgotten how much fun they are.  She's fearless and has had no problems trying to make our 50 lb dog back up when it gets too close for comfort.  Sammi has hardly taken out any toys since the kitten arrived, and if I didn't make her put the kitten down, it would be carried all day long.  Hoping that this kitten won't mind getting dressed up in clothes, because I can tell that  will happen in the near future.  Little Mikey can breathe a sigh of relief, Sammi has someone else to dress up now....

                       ....and someone new to love

                             

"Into every life, a little rain must fall"

"Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember it didn't work for the rabbit." - R E Shay    

Nope, no luck here with bunnies....  Last June we lost Hoppy and this year on Mother's Day, we lost our little Miffy. :::sigh:::  Why can't we keep our bunnies alive?  As much as I love bunnies, I give up.  Apparently these creatures are too fragile for me to care for.   I feel a little guilty about Miffy dying.  I should have noticed that she didn't have any poops in her litter box, but I didn't, until it was too late.  Was too busy with life; working the night shift, ending 4 year feud's with my brother, attending a birthday party, the prom and celebrating Mother's Day & my birthday.... 

When I noticed Miffy's litter box on Sunday morning, and then saw her leaning heavily into her food dish.... I knew it was bad.   Miffy was barely breathing and very cold.  I couldn't bring myself to pick her up, so Mike put her gently in her hutch.   We both looked at each other and said,  "What will we tell Sammi?"   You see, last June when Hoppy got sick, (and died), we decided to tell Sammi that Hoppy went to live on a farm with other sick bunnies.  Even though she wasn't quite 3,  I don't think she ever bought that explanation.  But I felt the need to protect her from the sometimes sad realities of life.   Now at 3 years 10 months, I still feel the need to protect her, however, we can't keep telling her that the animals that disappear from her life go to the farm.   

We decided to tell both of the little ones the truth in terms we hoped they could understand.   We told them that sometimes animals get sick and die.... that Miffy had died.  Sammi's first question was "Did her heart go away?"   We got into the topic of how God has special places for little animals when they die.   She asked so many questions about "Who's God?"  "Can Miffy come back someday?"   .... Hard deep questions that I sometimes have trouble wrapping my mind around.  How does one explain God to a 3 year old?  I still don't know.  

We gave Miffy a funeral in the backyard while standing in the rain.  We sang her the song we always sang. "Miffy, is a cute little bunny...."  And then Mikey piped up in a very sad little voice, "I'm gonna miss her...."  I almost cried, but didn't.  Moments later, his sadness passed and he was helping his dad pack down the dirt.  

Three days have gone by and they are still talking about Miffy.  They have told anyone who'll listen that they had a bunny, but now she's gone under the dirt.  Yesterday, while driving in the car the little ones both told me that they thought Miffy wanted to come back.  I asked them why they thought that, and Sammi said, "Because I heard her."  I played along and said, "you did?"  She replied, "yup".  And then in the cutest little bunny voice she could muster she squeaked, "Miffy said, "I wanna come back up, I don't like it under here."  Made me wanna cry and laugh at the same time.   I guess they don't quite get it, but there's one thing I do know for sure....  

               The sandbox shovels are going to be put away for awhile....        

The Jr. Prom

And so my weekend continues....

After my niece's birthday party on Saturday, I rushed home to help Spencer get ready for his Jr. Prom.  Unfortunately, I arrived home just as he was leaving to pick up his date, corsage in hand.  I'm happy to report, that there were no encounter's with a rubber ball the night before his Jr. Prom this year.  So, at least he didn't need me around to help him with his make-up to conceal one of the largest hickies I had ever seen.  Honestly, I stll laugh when I see this picture....(read here  Warning!!!) 

Although there were no hickies to contend with, the weather was a different story.  A nor'easter blew in the day of the Jr. Prom....  Our swing blew over, large tree limbs fell and our patio furniture danced around the the deck from the 60mph gusts.  So much for pictures in front of the flowering cherry tree. 

Luckily for the masses of parents with camera's poised, the school held a promenade for the prom attendees.   This was held before the prom, so that parents and friends could see them all dressed up and take pictures.  Mike was at a woodturning seminar all day, so I had to be the photographer.  The picture above was the best shot I took, but it doesn't do them justice.  They really did look great, ahhh well, I was just happy I didn't cut off their heads in the picture.

          ......Hey, is that a scar from the rubber ball I see on his forehead?   

First Step

 

       Four things happened in my life this weekend; all deserve their own entry.  You see, although it's STILL raining here in New England, the clouds have lifted from my mind....                                 

                      ...and more importantly, from my heart.  

The almost four year feud I've had with my oldest brother Rick, has ended.... Four years of silence, four years we can never get back.  Both too stubborn or proud to take the first step to heal the rift, until his daughter forced the first step....   A week ago, I received an email from my niece Katie, inviting me to her 12th birthday on Saturday.  On it she wrote, "Please say you'll come Aunt Michelle.  I love you...."    How could I say no?  And so the first step was taken....  

As I pulled up outside of their house on Saturday afternoon, anxiety filled my mind.  Questions bombarded me, almost paralyzing me.  "Will they welcome me?"  "What happens if they don't?"  "Is this a mistake?"   If I didn't have the two little ones with me, I might have been tempted to quietly drive away.    Instead we walked to the front door.  Sammi, unaware of the turmoil brewing inside of me, reached up and rang the door bell.    When my brother answered the door and I saw his face, all my anxiety disappeared. 

He smiled and immediately gave me a hug & kiss.  "So good to see you, come in, the partyis  downstairs."  Yes, he took the next step!  When I went downstairs the first person to greet me was my sister-in-law, Dee.  She smiled and when she hugged me, she whispered, "Thank you so much for coming..."  Emotion filled my heart and my eyes began to tear up.  All I could mutter was, "I've missed you so much...."   She replied, "I've missed you too, we'll talk later.  Do you want to be in the pie eating contest?"  I swear that my heart felt 100 pounds lighter, who needs Weight Watchers?  

Although there were some awkward moments, I mostly felt at peace.  All, was once more right in my world.   I watched my brother from afar.... It was the first time in almost four years, that I really looked at him.  Now I could look at him without feeling hurt, anger, or fearing rejection.   When did my brother start to look so much like our Pepere Lavallee?   Of course the thoughts of "what happened" and "why" are still there, but those reasons are really not important anymore.  Forgiveness is a wonderful thing.... 

When it was time to go, goody bags were handed out.  And then because it was my birthday the next day, Dee handed me a gift and said "Happy Birthday."  Although I love the candle they gave me, the real gift I received on Saturday couldn't be wrapped with paper and bows.  I have my brother (and family) back.                                               

               ....Thanks Katie and Happy Birthday. 

                                                           I love you too ....

"A cloud does not know why it moves in just such a direction and at such a speed...It feels an impulsion...this is the place to go now. But the sky knows the reasons and the patterns behind all clouds, and you will know, too, when you lift yourself high enough to see beyond horizons."  ~Jonathan Livingston Seagull

 

 

I've been trying to do a journal entry for the past week, but like the seemingly never-ending rain here in New England, my mind too has been cloudy....  So much to say, yet can't seem to put more than a few thoughts together.  Not sure why I'm in this funk, life is good.  I did receive some sad news yesterday about a childhood friend, but that news only added to the clouds in my mind, it's not the reason.  

 

Hoping for sunshine soon....

My Confession

Picture of Sammi's Barbies...

While no one was looking I played with my daughter's Barbie's last night.  I didn't mean to, really I didn't.  I only went into her room to pick-up a few toys, when suddenly, my eyes gazed upon a disheveled but much loved Barbie.  (The Princess Pauper, in the picture above).

First, I straightened out her gown and then found a brush to remove the tangles from her long brown hair.  But I didn't stop there.  I sought out her three other Barbies and did the same thing.  As I finished each one, I placed them in the large pink Barbie/Princess castle.  When all four were sitting there side by side, (looking MUCH happier, I swear) I sat looking and remembering.....

....How I loved my Barbie's as a young girl.  I played with my Barbies until I was 14 years old.  My oldest brother used to tease me, saying, "You're too old to be playing with Barbies."  Perhaps I was....  When I was 13, I gave my parents (I mean, Santa) my wish list for Christmas.  When my Mom saw the list, she said "Michelle, this is the last year you can ask for Barbies.  You're getting too old." Hmmmm, had she been talking to my oldest brother? 

Santa delivered my wish.  The Barbie Airliner was great!  I would get together with another friend who still played Barbie's too.  She had the Barbie camper, oh, the adventures we had.  Our favorite scenerio included putting on her Brady Bunch album, (yes, they had an album where they sang), and we pretended to be on tour performing.  Our stage was the roof of the camper.  Sweet memories....   

In my 14th year, I decided to say goodbye to my dolls and Barbies and packed them away forever.  It was a sad day when I realized that it was time to grow up.  I think part of that realization, was due in part, because of a crush I had on a boy, Tom.  Whom, 2 years later, became my first boyfriend.... 

Last night I made a decision.  Although I truly feel I couldn't have had more wonderful parents; I will never tell my daughter she is too old to play with Barbies.  What's the rush to be grown-up anyways?  Besides, if she listens....

What will I have to play with while no one is looking?  

Happy Anniversary

"Marriage is like a hot tub.....

 

                             ....I'm so glad we're in it together"

How can six years together, (three years as your wife), feel like a lifetime?  ....A good lifetime, of course.  : )               

                              Happy 3rd Anniversary Mike,  I love you....

 

Thought for the day:  "If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?"  ~unknown

"Livin' la Vida Loca"

 

 

 

 

 

Yes, I'm still here.... just living my crazy life.  Too busy living it to write about it...

Let's see... Spring has arrived, so I'm getting outside more with the kids.  Cabin fever has officially ended, but winter is trying to hold on.  It snowed last night, thankfully no shovels needed.  Then there's my must-see TV; Fear Factor, American Idol and Survivor.  Bought a new clothes dryer, our old one almost started on fire.  Still chasing those frickin' crickets,  picking up downed tree limbs and other debris that winter left behind and need to buy a new lawnmower because our old one broke at the end of last year.  Called the pool guy to come over and replace our pool liner.  Apparently this winter was too much for the liner, the ice tore a huge hole in it and all our water drained out (into our cellar).  I've been working some crazy night shift hours that have really put my body out of whack, but I'm enjoying the extra money.  Think we'll need it, lol.    

(Taking a breath).... Ok, now I'll continue.

Spent last weekend in Boston at Spencer's music competition.  He did very well, but he's still licking his wounds.  He placed 2nd in the pop category, which is great.  But he has been 1st in that category for the past five years.  Yes, the accordian king has been dethroned, and is none too happy. I've spent the last few weeks visiting different preschools with Sammi.  Wasn't planning on sending her until kindergarten, but we decided that she could really benefit from the social aspect of it.  She'll be going 2 days a week from 8:00am - 12:00pm.   Preschool costs have really gone up since the last time I had a child in preschool fourteen years ago.  And talk about prices going up? Gas...filled up my tank the other day to the tune of $52.00.  Crazy, but don't think prices will be going down anytime soon.   Mike's job is on shaky ground... two weeks ago he was asked to hold off on cashing his paycheck for a few days, then last week his paycheck bounced. No work coming in and Mike has fielded a few phone calls from creditor's wanting money from his boss.  Nope, not good.  Mike is expecting a pink slip with his paycheck this week.  Suppose I should be more worried about this situation, but I'm not.  Have faith in the saying, "When one door closes, another opens."  ....All will be fine,  maybe even better.... 

Oh, and have I mentioned we are still chasing those frickin' crickets?  : )

Time To Face Reality

                                               

The other day I went to the store to buy pantyhose.  It's been awhile since I've had a need for pantyhose ......can't remember the last time I wore a dress.  Perhaps, years?  So, I'm not sure what possessed me a month ago when I bought a black skirt with polka dots.  Finally having an occasion to wear the skirt, I journeyed down that seldom traveled pantyhose aisle at the grocery store.  I picked up my old usual size (long/tall) and checked out the chart on the back.  Yikes!  Apparently I'm no longer just tall, but in need of a bit more material.  Next size up?  Queen...  As I picked up the package the first thought that entered my mind was, "See? You are Queen of your castle..... your pantyhose says so."   That thought truly made me smile, but I also knew it was time to get a handle on my weight.

Sooooooooo, with my Girl Scout thin mints and Easter peeps devoured, I decided to join Weight Watcher's.  All has been going well and in the past 3 weeks, I've dropped 10.5 lbs... Last night at my weigh-in the woman said, "Great job, you've lost 4.2 lbs"  As I sat in the meeting I felt so proud of myself.  Yes, I can really do this....  I drove home feeling elated.

When I got home I decided that I should reward myself.  With what, you ask?

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Two Twix bars and a chocolate pudding cup.  Hmmmmm....thinking I need to find a new way of rewarding myself.  .....Old habits are hard to break.   

A Reason To Celebrate!

Sammi, 3 years 8 months old, is FINALLY potty trained.  Can I hear an "Oh yeah!!!!!!!"  Only a frustrated mom could be this excited about poop in a potty, lol.  She has been peeing in the potty for awhile now, but has been totally resistant to pooping in the pot.  We tried everything, but nothing worked.  Of course, I knew that she would go when she was ready, but this Mom has been soooo ready for about 6 months now. 

Three days ago she decided to be completely potty trained.  She told me  "I'm all done with pull-ups & will only wear pull-up underpants now".  And that was that, potty trained, ...poop and all.   Yesterday she asked me if I would sign her up for "ballerina class".  Ballet lessons were one of the incentives I gave her a few months ago...   Sammi starts pre-ballet lessons on Sept. 18th.   September will be a month of change for her.  She will begin preschool 3 days a week and ballet class.  Wow, my little girl is really beginning to grow up.  

One down....

                One more to go and this Mom is done with diapers, forever!