This pic of my lil' one's first Halloween seems like just yesterday.... but yesterday was Mikey's first day at kindergarten.
Mikey was so excited about his first day. In the morning before we left for school I overheard him ask Sammi for fashion advice. He said, "Sammi, should I wear my socks up or rolled down?" Sammi told him to roll them down, lol. Mikey ran all the way to school singing at the top of his voice, "I'm gonna LOVE Kindergarten..." When Sammi lagged behind he stopped and urged her to hurry up. He ended up being first in line. His smile faded a bit as he stood there. Waiting. A little anxiety crept into his face, but no tears.
When the teacher told the kids to wave good bye to the parent's, one of the little boys freaked out. Big time. As I watched the teacher attempt to loosen his grip on his Mom's hand, my heart strings went *plink. Next thing I knew, my eyes were filled with tears as I watched my lil' one march into school.
The tears took me by surprise. Because I am happy about this new transition in my life. At least that's what my mouth says. Guess the tears mean that the heart is saying something different. In many ways, I will miss my lil' sidekick. My heart doesn't lie...
When I left the school yard, I was suddenly aware that I had some freedom, freedom I haven't had in years. I started thinking, what can I do? Almost felt giddy... I went to the bank and then went to Dunkin' Donuts and bought a coffee. In the car, I cranked up the volume on the radio and listened to MY music on the way to the grocery store. In peace. No child whining or begging me to buy something. Once in the store, I saw a harried Mom with two active little ones. She looked tired. In that moment, I was thankful that wasn't me....
Life is changing. But with the change and new found freedom comes the realization that I have to let my children go. I'm losing them a little bit to the world. Now there will be teachers and peers to influence them too. I've done this once already with Spence, it should be easy, but it isn't. Will take some time to adjust.
Hey Mom, up to a visit on Monday? I'll be able to sit and drink coffee with you, without any interruptions. When is the last time that happened? LOL...
