New Year's Eve Adventure....

After work last night (I only worked 4 hours) I came home flung off my  nurses uniform and slipped on my comfy nightshirt.  I had forgotton I agreed to pick up the Chinese food. Mike called to place our order at 5pm and they told him it would be ready at 9pm. I went to slip on a pair of jeans and they wouldn't fit!!  I kept poking at the bulge that wouldn't allow the zipper to zip. Mike thought I was joking, wish I was...lol.  Being stubborn I decided that these jeans were going to fit NOW!  I finally laid down on the couch and sucked in my gut; success!  Oh the pain!!  I immediately had to unbutton them. I decided that I wouldn't get out of my nightshirt good cover for the unbuttoned jeans and besides no one would see it under my leather coat,right?  Wrong! I got to the restaurant and discovered they were running behind.  So I stood in this very long line with about 30 other people who were told to pick up their food at 9pm. I quickly began to feel hot, but I couldn't take off my coat, why did I wear my nightshirt?  And what was I thinking squishing my "ate too many goodies" body into these jeans?? And just when I didn't think I could be more uncomfortable, I stretched my foot and suddenly I had a charlie horse cramp in my toes. No bending over in these jeans! After standing there for 40 minutes my name was called....  " Number 940, Sour?"  Close enough, lol.  Paid for the food and headed home. As soon as I walked in the front door, I yanked off those tight jeans and then proceeded to help devour a poo-poo for 2, egg foo young & lo mein noodles. For dessert, yes, I had dessert, I had a piece of banana cream cake :::burp::: Went down nicely with champagne.  So,any guesses what my New Year's resolution is...?