The shift seemed to mirror the weather outside, conditions spiraling downward. Nursing, just like New England weather is unpredictable. That's one of the things I love about my job. Every day is different....
At 1:50am one of the CNA's came up to me & said, "Mary just fell down and Norma just died." Norma's death wasn't a shock, some may even say it was a blessing. She was 89 years old and had been very sick for the past week. Having said that, I'll never get used to people dying. It's a part of my job that haunts me if I think about it too much. After 11 years in nursing, I still feel I don't know the right words to say to a family. Saying I'm sorry seems so inadequate. No matter how old a parent may be, no one is ever fully prepared to say good-bye to their mother or father. When I deal with the passing of a resident, it makes me reflect, if even for a second, about my own mortality.... That's one of the things I hate about my job.
Mary was fine and sustained no injuries (except maybe to her ego) from her fall. Looking up to the heavens and saying a silent thank you. But a prayer won't help me get the funeral parlor to come get Norma tonight. The storm is raging now, with gusts to 60mph. Roads are almost impassable. So I must leave Norma in her room until the next shift & pretend that all is ok while tending to her roommate. "Silent night, holy night all is calm...."
No, not calm yet....
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Now for some reason this part always seemed calming and knowing that they were in a peaceful place didn't leave me uncomfortable. They told me I had a 'talent' around grieving families ~ this from the families to my supervisors. Maybe because I had a calm presence it helped the family? I don't know.
Monica
(perfect imperfection)
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