Dear Dr,
This morning you made a suggestion to my Mom, told her it was something to “consider”. This is a suggestion that I (and some other family members) do not agree with. When I was trying to explain to you the reasons, you put your hand up and silenced me. Do you feel threatened by family that ask questions? Have you been feeling attacked? ….I don’t know. All I know is that we want to be involved, we want to be able to voice our concerns without being dismissed. We don’t ask these questions because we doubt your ability to help our Mom, (I do believe you can), we ask simply because we love her.
Although I’m a nurse, I can’t pretend to know about the world of oncology, I’m out of my league. But I do know my Mom. You don’t. There are alternatives to your suggestion. Dr’s are not God.
…..I’m just saying
11 comments:
Oh no. What was the doctor's suggestion, if you don't mind me asking?
Honestly, I don't care how good a doctor is medically...bedside manner means so much. And the fact that he's not even willing to listen to the family voice their concerns is to me, an affront to the profession. Especially at a time like this.
Still praying for you and your lovely family, M. Love the picture you posted. :)
Love always,
Bridgett
Sounds like time to find another Dr - one that treats you like you've actually got two brain cells to rub together!
I've run into too many with the "God Complex". How they get their heads thru the front door in the morning is beyond me. Maybe a local cancer center?
In the meantime, I'll keep your mom in my prayers.
Hugs, Kathy
Speak up! I almost died because of the arrogance of a Dr. who did not want me to get a second opinion. I will never let that happen again.
Michelle - Listen to your gut! A doctor that does not listen to the patient or the patient's family should not be dealing with patients in the first place. I have ran into this kind of doctor myself and he had been my doctor for fifthteen years. I left his office devastated over the way he treated me and it was his error in my treatment that I am sure he was angry about, but he took it out on me. I never set foot in his office again! What your Mom is going through is too serious to have to deal with this kind of doctor. Even if he did not understand why you didn't agreee with him he should have let you speak your concerns and been able to discuss all options with you and your family. The fact that he held up his hand and silenced you just floors me!! The truth is it is your Mom's life and not his. It might be the time to look for another doctor. You are right doctors are not God but sometimes we end up with ones who think they are. You all are in my prayers!
Melody
Doctors! BAAHHHHH!!! You know how I feel about most of them. They do have a God complex and some moreso than others. He should have at least heard you out. So sorry about this.
Hugs and love,
Lisa
Ooh, I have a strong reaction to this. A doctor who puts his hand up to shush? At that point, I'd be looking for two new doctors. One for my mother. The other for the doctor who's out cold on the hospital room floor. (told you it was a strong reaction)
Speak up. Ask questions - over and over if you have to. You DESERVE and NEED to have all the information. don't let yourself be bullied. You're paying HIS mortgage.
Good morning-and AMEN to your mom's shrinking cancer .
Dr's can be so cold sometimes. I had a situation where I asked lots of questions. My husband was hospitalized. He has no living parents. I felt so alone and not knowing what to do for him. (temporary 2 week stay in hospital)
Anyway the good dr asked if I was a nurse, becasue I was asking a lot of questions! No, I'am not a nurse, I just read everything I could on the subject and I guess it intimidated him.
Set aside your feelings on him. Place everything (I know you already have) I God's hands, and pray for your dr too. Perhaps you can pass alone to the hospital staff his manners. THey need a little tuning up, I'd say.
Even drs to refreshers how to deal with and explain and LISTEN to people.
Keeping you in my prayers.
Jan/ PT Lookout,NY
As a nurse, I am sure you are familiar with HIPAA. Unless you have an enduring Power of Attorney, the Doctor is not at liberty to discuss your mother's care and treatment with you. Period. End of story.
Ask your mother to sign you up so you are making the decisions; then (and only then) may the doctor discuss the specifics of her care with you.
This isn't rocket science -- it IS the law.
Comment to "hewasolddog299"
You do understand that the Dr. and his staff can (and do) talk to families if the patient gives permission, right? Ahhhh, of course you do. Because after all, it's not rocket science....
Oh I have missed some alerts and entries. I am so thankful this is all working out. Moms mean the world to us and we want the very best for them. Good for you for working through it so cautiously and carefully and prayerfully. Hugs,
Lisa
When my Aunt had cancer we did not ask any questions. We took what the doctors told us at face value. Now I wish we had asked all the questions that were going through our minds at that time. I think we were afraid to hear the answers to them. My advice: ask as many questions as you want. You & your family have that right. All of you are in my prayers.
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